Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
