I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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