Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
