I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
