all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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