I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
