Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
