Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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