I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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