I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
