If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
