i would punch a child for taco bell
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
