Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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