Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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