don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
