just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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