So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
