the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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