She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
