Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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