HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
