Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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