I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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