I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
