I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
