I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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