was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
