She is in my trunk
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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