I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
