when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
