I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
