i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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