I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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