Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
