I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize