escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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