Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
