drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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