The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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