Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
