I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
