So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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