he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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