let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
