I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
