Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
