Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
