who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize