He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
