I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
