oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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