At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You made out with two different species that night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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