There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
