I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
