Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My ass is underappreciated
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
