Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
