just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
