Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
