Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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