Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
