He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize