it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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