I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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